What It Is
First date tips is a massive genre of dating advice content covering what to do, say, wear, and avoid on initial romantic meetings. Spans from practical logistics to psychological strategies.
Classic Advice
Location wisdom:
- Coffee/drinks > dinner (lower commitment, cheaper, easy exit)
- Public places for safety
- Activity dates (mini golf, museum) reduce awkward silences
- Avoid movies (can’t talk)
Conversation:
- Ask open-ended questions
- Listen more than talk
- Avoid ex, politics, religion initially
- Share vulnerability (but not trauma dump)
- 50/50 talking ratio ideal
Body language:
- Eye contact shows interest
- Open posture (don’t cross arms)
- Mirror their energy
- Lean in when they talk
Logistics:
- Arrive on time
- Dress one level above casual
- Offer to split check (2010s norm shift)
- Plan 1-2 hour first date max
- Have exit strategy if it’s terrible
The Great Debates
Who pays?
- Traditional: Guy always pays
- Modern: Whoever asked pays
- Feminist: Always split
- Context-dependent: Discuss case-by-case
Follow-up timing?
- “3-day rule” (wait 3 days to text) outdated by 2015
- Modern: Text same night if interested
- Don’t play games; communicate authentically
Kiss on first date?
- 53% of people think it’s acceptable if both feel chemistry
- Read signals; don’t force
- TikTok debates: “If there’s no kiss it’s a friend hangout” vs “Consent > expectations”
Content Evolution
2011-2015: Blog articles, BuzzFeed listicles
2016-2019: YouTube dating coaches, podcasts
2020-2023: TikTok dating advice explosion (often contradictory)
2023+: “Date like a woman who…” empowerment advice vs tradwife advice wars
The Bad Advice Industry
Dating gurus selling $500 courses on “first date mastery” proliferated 2018-2022. Pickup artist culture rebranded as “dating strategy.” Much advice manipulative or based on gender stereotypes.