Roster dating means dating more than one person at the same time, with no exclusivity agreed, while you figure out which of them, if any, you want a relationship with. The “roster” is the set of people you are currently seeing, borrowed from a sports team’s list of players.
Origin
The behaviour is old; the label is newer. Her Campus writers at Delaware State University put it plainly: “The process of roster dating isn’t new but the term is.” By March 2019 lifestyle outlets were writing how-to guides: Brit + Co explained that “When you have a dating roster, you’re seeing more than one potential partner at the same time,” and quoted dating coach Sami Wunder: “It’s how most women dated traditionally.”
How It Works
A roster is not a secret second relationship. Nobody on it has been promised exclusivity, and the roster usually shrinks as people drop out or one person becomes the clear favourite, at which point the couple has the “define the relationship” talk (#DTRTalk). Marriage.com describes it as dating several people at the same time, openly and without exclusivity to any one person.
| Term | What it means |
|---|---|
| Roster | The people you are currently dating non-exclusively |
| Serial dating | Dating one person at a time, then moving on |
| Multi-dating | Dating several people at once (the research term for roster dating) |
| #Benching | Keeping someone in reserve with minimal contact |
| #Breadcrumbing | Sending occasional signals of interest without intent to commit |
Why People Do It
Writers tie the trend to app-era dating. A December 2025 piece in t2ONLINE framed it as “a coping mechanism for app-era romance,” defining it as “dating more than one person at the same time” in a culture shaped by “ghosting, breadcrumbing and endless swiping.” See also #Ghosting and #Situationship.
The Etiquette Question
The main criticism is that a roster can hurt people who assume more than they have been told. Advice pieces answer that with disclosure rather than secrecy. Brit + Co’s guidance: “If a date asks you if you’re seeing other people, tell them the truth.”
Research
A paper led by Jayda P. Felder, “A preliminary comparison of serial daters and multi-daters on their evaluation strategies, dating goals, and perceptions by others”, appeared in Personality and Individual Differences (vol. 233, February 2025). According to Marriage.com’s summary, the study surveyed 460 people and found that multi-daters show “a more open, less restrictive approach to relationships” and “more difficulty making a final decision between options.”
Sources
- https://www.brit.co/how-to-use-a-dating-roster-for-love/
- https://www.hercampus.com/school/desu/roster-dating-what-it-and-why-you-need-one/
- https://t2online.in/goodlife/lifestyle/roster-dating—a-coping-mechanism-for-app-era-romance/2002917
- https://www.marriage.com/advice/dating-advice/roster-dating/
- https://api.crossref.org/works/10.1016/j.paid.2024.112906