Direct messaging became the modern dating approach’s preferred method. #SlidingIntoDMs emerged on Twitter in mid-2013, describing the art of initiating romantic or sexual interest through Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook direct messages—often with strangers or acquaintances rather than through traditional introductions.
Social Media Courtship
The phrase captured the casual, low-stakes nature of DM flirting compared to in-person approaches. Users could gauge interest through social media presence, craft opening messages with editing time, and face rejection privately. The hashtag made DM flirting a recognized dating avenue.
Success Stories
Couples shared “how we met” stories crediting DMs, including celebrities: Chrissy Teigen and John Legend connected through Twitter DMs. The legitimization encouraged more people to shoot their shot. The hashtag celebrated successful DM slides alongside posting terrible pickup lines.
Techniques & Tactics
Users shared strategies: reply to Stories for natural conversation starters, avoid generic “hey,” comment on specific interests, respect non-responses. The hashtag spawned advice content about DM etiquette, timing, and red flags (immediate sexual messages, copy-paste approaches).
Cultural Criticism
Critics argued DMs enabled harassment and made people uncomfortable in their own social media spaces. The line between flirting and bothering became a ongoing debate the hashtag highlighted.
Real-World References
- The Atlantic: Dating Through DMs
- Vice: How to Slide Into DMs