When the Ghost Comes Back to Life
Zombieing (also called submarining) is when someone who ghosted you suddenly reappears weeks or months later, acting as if nothing happened — no apology, no explanation, just a casual “Hey, what’s up?”
The Halloween Dating Trend
The term gained traction in late 2017 as a Halloween-appropriate dating horror story. Like a zombie rising from the grave, the person who vanished without warning suddenly texts as if they never left.
Classic Zombieing Examples
Text patterns:
- “Hey stranger 👋”
- “Long time no talk! How’ve you been?”
- “Was just thinking about you…”
- Reacting to your Instagram story after 6 months of silence
- Liking a bunch of old photos at 2 AM
Why Do People Zombie?
Common reasons:
- Previous option fell through — they’re back because Plan A didn’t work
- Boredom/loneliness — late-night impulse to reconnect
- Validation seeking — want to see if you’re still interested
- Genuine obliviousness — don’t realize ghosting was hurtful
- Roster management — cycling through past connections
The Psychology
Zombieing works because:
- Nostalgia effect — you remember the good times, not the ghosting
- Curiosity — what changed? Why now?
- Validation — feels good to be thought of
- Hope — maybe they realized what they lost
Red Flags
Dating experts warn: if someone zombied you once, they’ll likely do it again. Healthy relationships require:
- Accountability (apologizing for ghosting)
- Transparency (explaining the disappearance)
- Consistent behavior (not vanishing again)
How to Respond
Options:
- Ghost back (serve karma)
- Confront (“You disappeared for 3 months — what’s up with that?”)
- Polite decline (“I’ve moved on, good luck!”)
- Give a chance (if they genuinely apologize and explain)
Cultural Impact
By 2019, zombieing memes flooded Twitter and TikTok. Common joke: “The scariest thing this Halloween is my ex zombieing me.”
Sources
- Cosmopolitan: “Zombieing Is The Awful New Dating Trend You’ve Definitely Experienced” (2017)
- Bustle: “What Is Zombieing? This Dating Trend Is Like Ghosting, But Worse” (2018)
- Elite Daily: “Zombieing Is The Dating Trend That Needs To Die” (2018)